If I ruled the world...

  1. I would make it a legal requirement for all those designing the layout of a bathroom or toilet or anything else which will contain a WC, to be personally responsible for fitting the toilet role holder to the wall, carrying out the entire fitting operation while sitting on the WC lid and facing forwards.
  2. I would make it a legal requirement, that if in the case of any severe UK-wide electricity shortage requiring load shedding, that the first load to be shed on every occasion, and the last load to be reinstated, shall be the City of Westminster. Our leaders must be seen to be leading from the front, and they clearly need this threat if they are to come up with some sensible policies, at long last.
  3. I’m sure I will think of some more, sooner or later, so watch this space.

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